It was late when I wrote this
by The All Knowing God of Hats
Summary: It's a dumb story. I wrote it 3 days ago, read over it yesterday and then posted it today. I guess I was high or something. Usually people try to abstain from posting stories that came to be like that, but I did edit it so it's at least comprehendible now


**It doesn't have a title, but you'll learn something about Jimmy Buffett that you probably already suspect.**

**Disclaimer: It starts out kinda lame, but it gets better.**

**I wrote this the other night, and I kind of remembered writing it, but couldn't remember it well so I reread and it's actually okay. It starts out kind of dumb, but in comparison to the ending that starting stuff is gold. I know that people don't like it when you put on weird stuff that you write while you're not in your right mind, but someone out there will get a kick out of it, and the dull beginning sort of makes the ending seem even more silly. **

Three men, who were thought to be very wise, sat around the kitchen drinking and joking and just being wise in general. Most people think that drinking isn't wise and that joking is for the stupid. I say to those people, "clearly you have no perception of human mind function at all whatsoever,"

"Tonight is a good night," said the first man "And I do not know why."

"You've had too much to drink," said the second man

"He been saying things like that all day," said the third man (who spoke with this weird sort of lisp)

"But it is truly a magnificent day for everyone," said the first man.

Suddenly the rug near the fire place caught on fire and then it spread to the curtains and within minutes the whole house was in flames.

The three men stood outside watching the house burn.

"It isn't a good day for you now," Said the second man to the first man, "your house has burned to the ground.

"It is still a good day," said the first man.

They all went to a bar to go brag about how wise they are because aside from being notoriously wise these men were notoriously full of themselves. At the bar they sat and talked amongst themselves saying things like "I'm so wise I can make lead into gold," and "I'm so wise I could win at Who Wants to be a Millionaire," and "I'm so wise I can do that Rubik's Cube that has the 5x5 sides,"

Then the bar tender said, "I think, now, it would be wise to take a walk."

The third man said "It's the middle of the night that doesn't sound very wise at all."

The second man said "He's right some places get really violent after dark."

"I," said the third man, "think we should go." And he started to leave, but he hadn't paid yet, so he had to stop and take care of that, but they didn't take credit cards because it was the year 0 and credit cards weren't invented, but this guy was so wise that he knew it would be a useful thing to have someday, and his wife had to balance the cheque book, so she had it, and all the third man had was three large sacks of corn. So in payment for his alcohol he had to make corn chowder.

The two other men hadn't really wanted to go out walking so they just hung around the bar. Then some bandits came in and killed everyone and the three guys who were bandits stole the wise men's clothes and went to go see their cousin be born in a barn.

You may have guessed by now that they got the wrong barn and everyone thought they were three wise men visiting Jesus. And then three days later they ate some tainted bacon and died hideous ugly deaths.

But even the god was fooled and said "I'm quite surprised that three wise men would die of pork poisoning. Don't you know that isn't kosher?"

And they all ran away back to earth, but it took them 1,950 years to get there and then they helped start the beat generation and that evolved into the hippie movement, which turned into the 70s, which no one can tell me about because they were all on acid, and then they started worshipping Jimmy Buffett as both a musician and a semi-human-undead-sea-demon-pirate with powers equal that of satan and god, but he's too timid to take a stand because he has a super-human stutter, which we humans cannot comprehend, but in the presence of supernatural beings it's clear as dried hot glue which one may use as adhesive for attaching small items to your face.

THE END….kinda.

And then the cow said, "You wanna bet on that, punk?" and punched Jack Nicholson in head. And then they went out for milkshakes and porridge and milk with food dye in it and then they were attacked by tomatoes because the play stunk and the crowd was displeased and they had accidentally interfered with the making of the story I just made and I squashed them with a medicine bottle and left them in the cereal box to die.


End file.
